The True Meaning of Legacy

1. A gift by will especially of money or other personal property.
2. Something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past.

When I read the textbook definition of legacy, I was pretty underwhelmed. It felt both transactional and materialistic, and was far removed from the understanding of legacy that I've had for most of my professional life. It made me wonder if others hold the meaning at such a low bar, and if perhaps Merriam-Webster should consider a revision. 

When I think of legacy, it encompasses one's life work. Sure, there's an aspect that relates to assets and possessions, but what truly makes up a legacy is values, one's character, family, traditions, and the mark that we leave on the world around us. It can be professional impact, intellectual property, the way we serve others, or the art we create. I believe it's also the ripple effect of kindnesses big and small, making others feel seen and heard, and our love for the people around us. 

For most of us, we grapple with the idea of legacy as we age and start to face our own mortality. We begin to question how we will be remembered and what kind of mark we will leave on the world. It can be quite a daunting exercise in self-reflection, especially when the great majority of our life is behind us and the time left to right the ship feels short.

Seven years ago, when I was in my mid-thirties, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. Married with three small children, it's safe to say that at that point in my life I had not taken a hard look at what my own legacy would be when I was gone. As you might imagine, being faced with a life-threatening diagnosis has a way of cutting through the trivial aspects of one's life and putting a spotlight on what matters most. I became acutely aware of the implications of the life I had lived to that point, and thought hard about how I might be remembered if I did not survive. Was I a good wife? Was I a good mom? Did I put my faith on display? Did I create enough positive memories with my family to sustain them? Would they know my heart and the "real" me by how I treated them and those around me? Did I live out my values in a way that my children could learn from them? As I reflected on these types of questions, there were some areas I was proud of, and some that I wasn't. One of the positive takeaways from my cancer journey was the awareness of how precious life is and how waiting until one day when you're older to think about your legacy is a luxury that we are not guaranteed.

It was through this experience that what mattered most in my life became crystal clear. I remember that, a day or two after my diagnosis, I had an epiphany about all the things I had on my plate, and how only a small few were actually important. I was forced to slow down, to take stock of how I was showing up for my family, and I was given the gift of time to be able to start intentionally writing my legacy.

It's important to start thinking about your legacy today because despite popular belief, we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Whether you're in your 20's or 80's, now is the right time to give thought to your values, your priorities, your relationships, and the mark you want to leave on the world.

Below are a number of questions to prompt some intentionality about creating your legacy.

• What do I value most? List the top 3-7 values. Are my priorities in line with what I value?
  
  
• How do I want my family to remember me? Am I living in a way that would create those impressions? If not, what are some ways I can start doing so?
  
  
• Do my family and friends know my life story? Do they know how I was raised, how I met my spouse, started my career, places I've traveled, things I enjoy doing, etc.?
  
  
• Do I have any life lessons or guiding principles that I live by? Have I shared those?
  
  
• What traditions are important to me? What traditions do I wish I had set in place? (PS - it's not too late to start that tradition!)
  
  
• Examine my closest relationships - am I treating them like they are precious? Do my actions towards them reflect how much they mean to me?
  
  
• Have I been generous with my time, talent and/or treasure? In what ways can I show generosity to the people and causes that mean the most to me?
  
  
• Are there mementos from my life that have significance and/or a story? Have I shared those with anyone?
  
  
•  If I had one day left to live, would I have any regrets? Are there ways I can heal those regrets now?

While considering your legacy might feel heavy, remember that it is a privilege to be able to think about it proactively. Rest in the fact that you are in charge of building your legacy. If you are reading this, then it is not too late to find clarity about what matters most, get intentional about the kind of legacy you want to leave, and start enjoying your journey by living out that legacy every day.